The Modern Stoner
Forget the Old Stereotypes. We are High-Functioning Cannabis Lovers.
The time has come to reclaim the word “stoner.” For far too long the media has been portraying folks as lazy, apathetic, or downright dumb. But we won’t stand for it anymore. Because we’re a part of a new generation of stoners: functional stoners.
From the 1930s when the head of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics, Harry J. Anslinger, decreed cannabis was evil, to Nancy Reagan’s 1980s War on Drugs, to now - cannabis has been portrayed as a dangerous drug, responsible for turning good kids into ne’er-do-wells. The negative opinions of cannabis and the subsequent disproportionate criminalization of cannabis use resulted in a lack of scientific study and a general misunderstanding of the plant. In the media, the most famous and beloved portrayals of stoners are usually characterized by their joie de vivre and lack of social, financial, or job responsibility. Think The Dude in the Big Lebowski, Dale Denton, or Cheech and Chong. As much as I personally love all those guys, I can’t help but notice the implied throughline: that weed will make you lazy and act dumb. (And that apparently only men are stoners?)
In today’s culture, we’re over it. Not that there’s anything wrong with enjoying getting blazed out of your mind once in a while. But it’s time the media and the world recognize the majority of folks who love cannabis are also great at life. We know the blends we like. We know the doses we like. And despite what your grandma may believe, we do not spend most of our days melting into the couch or trying to remember where we parked our car. (Okay, THAT one might be accurate - but I would argue it’s less about cannabis and more about the confusing parking structure signs.)
So, is being slightly stoned the new Functional Stoner?
“We’re so used to seeing ‘lazy stoners’ on our screens that we don’t stop to ask whether they’re an accurate representation of cannabis users. Our work implies that this is in itself a lazy stereotype”
Debunking the Lazy Stoner Stereotype
Sorry to break your great uncle’s heart, but the science is in and it turns out consuming cannabis doesn’t make people lazy. In a study done at the University of Cambridge, they compared 274 people who reported using cannabis at least once a week on a regular basis, with another group of 274 people in the same age range and genders who did not indulge. During the study, these adolescents and adults completed quizzes, tests, and questionnaires all designed to measure their level of apathy and level of anhedonia - aka their inability to feel pleasure. The result?
“We were surprised to see that there was really very little difference between cannabis users and non-users when it came to lack of motivation or lack of enjoyment, even among those who used cannabis every day. This is contrary to the stereotypical portrayal we see on TV and in movies.” - Martine Skumlien, a PhD candidate in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Cambridge.
The takeaway? People who consume cannabis regularly do not show any signs of being more apathetic than those who abstain. In fact, cannabis users actually scored lower for anhedonia, suggesting that they may actually be feeling more pleasure in life. The study, published in the International Journal of Neuropsychopharmacology, surprised a lot of people, considering the reputation cannabis has had for decades. Personally, it doesn’t surprise me.
What is a Functional Stoner?
I’m so glad you asked. Basically, it means someone who enjoys cannabis regularly (whether for medicinal or recreational uses) and has a high-functioning life - pun most definitely intended. This can mean different things to different people. Some enjoy cannabis as a daily wind down, while for others cannabis helps them overcome their social anxiety during the day. Still others say cannabis helps them focus at work.
As cannabis use continues to grow in the United States, any stereotype about who enjoys cannabis and why is becoming irrelevant. Cannabis is inching closer and closer to being on the same playing field as alcohol when it comes to social acceptance.
A growing number states have legalized or decriminalized cannabis. Which means we’ve been blessed with a wider variety of cannabis products. From traditional flower to vape pens, melts, and beverages, there is a way of enjoying cannabis that you’re sure to love. Which makes it even more important to understand the doses that make you feel best. Because my friends…whether you're a seasoned cannabis lover, or just starting to dip your toe in, getting the most out of Mother Nature is all about the dose.
I’ll Say it Again, “It’s All About the Dose”
One of the reasons why being a functional stoner has become more enjoyable is the ability to get precise about dosing. With products that are easily understood, dosed, and consumed, we can dose in a way that suits our day, our job, and our bodies. Am I right, or am I right?
Even better, cannabis products like midose. melts have also given us the ability to enjoy cannabis the way we like, where we like, and when we like - without worrying about any residual smell, red eyes, or cottonmouth. Being a functional stoner isn’t about trying to escape our day, it’s about making our day work better for us.
For many folks microdosing cannabis may help relieve feelings of anxiety or stress. Microdosing is just a fancy word for enjoying smaller amounts throughout the day vs. consuming a larger amount once or twice. No matter what you like to call your cannabis routine, the dose you’ll love is the amount that feels the best in your body - which is ultimately the most important thing.
Stoner Norms
As much as we may love cannabis, the plant is still federally classified as a Schedule I drug. So always use your best judgment and stay up to date on the cannabis laws of your area. Remember, this is not an advice column. And I am most definitely not a doctor.
When it comes to work, many employers have taken on a don’t ask, don’t tell attitude toward cannabis - especially in states that have decriminalized or legalized cannabis use for adults. Obviously, no one is telling you to be high at work. But from my own experience, that’s not stopping functional stoners from excelling at their jobs.
While it can still feel like the media looks sideways at consuming cannabis every day, I’m here to say YOU DO YOU. Find the doses you love and enjoy!